Sunday, April 12, 2015

Tentatively I'm creeping back

I'm scared.

It has literally been years since I blogged. I'm frightened that I have nothing of any interest to say and I'm frightened that I what I have to say is so personal and raw it will expose me too deeply.

Even as I write now, I am finding excuses to stop, reasons to cease, issues that make it all too hard. But the truth is, I am going through the most difficult journey I've ever experienced.

Since I wrote last:

My eldest son has turned 3 and is, what I call a firework, others call spirited and some call wild.

My body has swelled with pregnancy again and my second son has been born. 10 months in and he is adventurous and a clingy koala in equal measures.

I am coming out of a struggle with  postnatal depression which has felt like a wrestling match with a monster, but like all good faerie tales and fables, I was smaller and thought I was weaker, but I'm coming out on top and it feels good.

If you're out there and you have been struggling, I'm writing for you. We are making it through this alive - take my hand.